What you find when you are clearing out.........

Since our move, I have been going through drawers and boxes that have not been touched in years and have found some "lost treasures" - my grandfather's Braille pocket watch, my great-grandfather's Naval Service Record (handwritten on vellum) and my other great-grandfather's certificate granting him the Freedom of the City of London. These are all precious family treasures, but the item that means the most to me is written by my father on three sheets of lined paper taken from, I think, a shorthand pad.

I have transcribed it here:

Standing Orders

re: Pamela Brodie Duffield

Born 9-7-56

Issued by Pam Management Committee

1. Pamela must not be kissed by well-meaning friends or relations.
2. Pamela must be treated as a human being and not be fussed or cuddled except by Parents.
3. Pamela must not call her grandparents Nannie or Dan Dan - because it sounds bloody awful!
4. Pamela must be introduced to things by their proper names i.e. NOT puff puff, bow wow, gee gee etc. Any offender will be torn off a bloody great strip.
5. Pamela must not be spoilt or left to mercy of doting grandparents.
6. Pamela must be treated for smallpox etc etc as and when applicable.
7. No unauthorised person shall have care of Pamela without consent of either parent, i.e. this includes:-
   bathing, pushing out [I imagine this means in the pram] carrying, nursing etc (even if it does upset Aunt Beat etc!!)
8. Pamela will be expected to know her ABC by the age of 3½. (Failure to comply with this order will entail a severe reprimand) [in point of fact, I could read and write fluently by the time I was 4 years old]
9. Subject to official confirmation, Pamela may be insured through her father's company (the Sun Life) for a sum as yet unknown, which shall be used if necessary to cover part or wholly her education at a place other than that laid down by the Local Education Authority. Should this not be necessary, the monies should be allowed to accumulate and be presented to her on her coming of age.
10. Pamela shall not be unduly forced to religion but encouraged if she shows the desire.
11. Pamela shall be dressed in a modern manner and put wise to clothing matters as and when necessary.
12. Pamela shall be fed only by her parents and not between meals. Feeding by others shall be vetoed (i.e. no sly bits from fond relations and friends in kitchen). Pamela shall not be allowed to eat in the street and must sit at the table for all snacks etc.
13. Pamela shall be instructed in the art of silent (mouth closed) eating - no slurp slop crunch slopp slopp eating  i.e. no noises on or off!!!!
14. Bed times shall be severely maintained, no TV, horror comics or space films.
15. Any musical interests should be encouraged and followed up.
    Further Standing Orders will be issued from time to time by the Committee
    
    Signed: P H Duffield (Parent)     Secretary
                 G W M Duffield (Parent) President
    

    These orders shall be made public knowledge in due course.
    Any infringement of the Orders will be dealt with severely by the President and Secretary; punishment to be decided by them jointly.
    

    Signed       G W M Duffield         President

                                          P H Duffield              Secretary
    
                       Sole Members of the Pam Management Committee
    This was written by my beloved dad, a young first-time and very proud father who, with my mother, was living with his in-laws and a variety of aunts and uncles in a large house in Kingston. We lived there until I was a little over four years old and despite all of the well-meaning Standing Orders, I was a much loved, kissed and petted little girl.
     I was not forced to religion, although I did go to church with my grandparents and was a member of the church choir, along with my younger brother. My parents left any decisions regarding faith very much to me and although Dad died before I became Pagan, Mum knew and understood the path that I was taking.
     I was taught by my Dad's sister, my darling Aunt Judy, to read and write (much to the annoyance of my first Infant School teachers who, I think, found me precocious).
    I was encouraged to love and play music, I never did eat in the street and I certainly never called my grandparents anything other than Grandpa or Grandma, followed by their surnames when talking about them to other people.
    
    So these Standing Orders very much reflect the child-rearing ideas of their time, but are they really so outdated? My brother and sister-in-law are raising their daughter as they and I were raised and she is, with no bias on my part, a delight to be around. She has her moments, as do all children, but she knows where her boundaries lie and how far she can push before she has gone too far.
    
    Whether the Pam Management Committee's Standing Orders were all implemented or not, I had a very happy and stable childhood. I miss my Dad and Mum every day and just wish Dad had lived to meet my husband and to know that we have as happy a marriage as he and Mum had together.